Nobel Pizza Prize?

Rush Limbaugh is telling his radio audience that he is
much more qualified than Al Gore to win the next Nobel Prize.

"I don't even know why Gore's qualified for this," he told his listeners. " What in the hell's global warming have to do with world peace?! I have done more for world peace to promote liberty and freedom than Al Gore has."

An American conservative organization has filed an "unsolicited" nomination for Rush with the Nobel Committee.

Fortunately the Nobel Committee owns a shredder.

http://mediamatters.org/items/200704030001

It Ain't Me, Babe

Outgoing World Bank President and Iraq war Nostradamus
("The war will pay for itself")
Paul Wolfowitz declares that it was all the media's fault.

The huge pay increase of his girlfriend, the outcries of hypocrisy from employees, the demands of board members that he leave...

None of it was his fault.
The sheer audacity of this statement is now his greatest accomplishment.


Heckuva job, Wolfie.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/6697311.stm

Presidential Poo

At Thursday's outdoor Presidential Press Conference,

a pigeon makes an editorial comment.

Why the bird pooh?

Because there were no bulls flying overhead.

Presidential Press Conference Explained

Novelist and historian Gore Vidal offers a clue:

The rumour round Washington is that he’s gone back to drinking. Well, thank God, he might make a little more sense. A group of us each vowed we would send him a bottle of whisky, but I think it’s heroin probably that he would need.

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/cf59b636-02aa-11dc-a023-000b5df10621.html

Same Old Song

It's Oldies But Goodies time for the Memorial Day Weekend.








The President has pulled out
another variation on "Boogey! Boogey! Boogey!"
to scare the populace.
Hey, if you can't get their respect, you can at least scare them!
He can declassify this, but it's STILL too soon to know who Cheney met with in the oil industry.

What? Me Hurry?

As apparently some Democrats feel that the Iraq civil war just has not gone on long enough, the new bill on War Funding will have no timeline for withdrawal.
This isn't giving in, however.


The President will still have to tell us everything's going fine in regular updates.

Somehow, that doesn't sound like it'll be a problem.


http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/05/22/war.funding/index.html

Falwell's That Ends Well

Thousands lined up Tuesday to say a final farewell to evangelist
Jerry Falwell.
Rev.Falwell, known for warning the world on the dangers of animated characters, was to be memorialized as soon as anyone could think of something to say.

"I was asked if I'd like to say goodbye to Jerry Falwell" explained renowned animated star Tinky Winky.

And I said, 'who wouldn't?"

http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/morford/

There's No Business Like Show Business

The President today called criticism of long-time pal Alberto Gonzalez
"pure political theatre."

"It's good, but it's no Spamalot," Mr. Bush declared.
The President made his comments at his Crawford ranch, while waiting for the latest in a series of Connecticut Cowboy photo opportunities.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uslatest/story/0,,-6650233,00.html

White House Officials Say It's Too Soon To Tell

On Sunday, White House officials angrily responded to President Jimmy Carter's

statement that President Bush was the worst president in American history.

"It's too soon to tell. We're working day and night though to win the title."

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/05/20/carter.bush.ap/

Newt's war plan made simple (very simple)

On Sunday's Meet the Press, Newt Gingrich declared more of his plan to

win in Iraq:

issue permanent IDs to all Iraqis!

This way he can keep track of everybody! (and perhaps offer them copies of his latest novel!)

Please, Newt haven't these people suffered enough!

Thank goodness our generals have his wisdom to guide them!

Alberto Gonzalez's Movie Reviews

SHREK THE THIRD:

Funny?

Frankly I don't recall.

But I do take full responsibility for it.

SPIDERMAN 3:

Mistakes were made.

The Commander-in-Cheap

Hey, now the plastic turkey is starting to look good.

The President has declared that the troops he loves so much are already suffiencly compensated ...so he will oppose a pay raise.

Anyone for plastic gravy?

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2007/05/19/bush_resists_democrats_on_military_pay/

Wolfy's Retirement Party

Now that Paul Wolfowitz's departure from the World Bank is official, well-wishers are bidding their fond farewells, including the following touching sentiment from an internal web site:

Please just leave. You can take all your loyal employees with you. Who are you kidding?
http://uk.reuters.com/article/homepageCrisis/idUKN18219095._CH_.242020070518